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Teaboy's Basic(ish) Reviews....I read a lot of reviews when looking at games on Steam, and it quickly gets tiring – those who write involved, down to the micron scale reviews, although helpful, end up like looking at War & Peace when you’ve only got time for a quick 5 minute dump! This is middle of the road and to the point – not easy for me as I tend towards sesquipedalian loquaciousness! Vociferously Verbose? Alright, verbal diarrhoea. (Although I hate panning a developer’s work and all the time, effort and love they put into designing these – it is their life after all – this is my honest, personal opinion of my level of enjoyment. Sorry devs!).
A note on time played: My Steam clock does not seem to work properly, indeed, it even minuses time on occasion! Plus, I have a tendency to wander off and leave games running at times, so time played may not be entirely accurate!

Teaboy’s Tonsil Titillators or Toenail Titbits! (Rating)
Tonsil Tickler (Totally Tops): The frenchy of which you always dreamt! To quote a master, “She’s got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a Man’s tonsils!”. An absolute masterpiece and joy to play.
The Tits (Terrific): Everyone loves playing with these! Not THE best bit, but such fun on their own you can be lost for hours....mmmm. What most games you really like score – perfection is so rare after all.
Torso Teaser (Taker of your Time): It’s a flat stomach....sure it’s nice to look at, run your fingers over, slobber on a bit, sometimes that bellybutton gets your motor running....but it's just basically the corridor between the two ‘gaming rooms’. The definitive ‘Meh’ - the middle ‘sideways thumb’ option for which everyone on Steam cries.
Todger/Tadger & (scroTum) Taters (Tedious): Is it an ‘a’ or is it an ‘o’? Who cares! The meat can be fun to play with for about 5 minutes of your entire day, the rest it just hangs there and generally gets in the way of doing something else. The main problem of course, is the two veg sticking to your inside thigh. This is what this game feels like – the occasional/rare bouts of fun, the rest bobbing like a 19th century British Policeman (now you know why!).
Toenail Tornado (Total Toss): A playthrough so appalling it’s like being trapped in a Turkish sauna with the ugliest, hairiest, fattest, sweatiest beast of a neolithic hominid who’s trimming his toenails using pliers and the splinters are reminiscent of a scene from the Normandy Landings. My god how did this get released!?

Teaboy Touts (Score): Torso Teaser

The Review:
It is the same quick level work-it-out repeated every time. with difficulty increasing very gradually until you've suddenly finished the game.
Honestly, MANY of the levels I finished in the time it took me to move - in other words, the speed of movement was the only limit on how fast I did a puzzle! Literally circa ten seconds. Others had me try a few things, no big brain-teasers. There were a couple that fluxomed me - like right at the end (clue: don't think in 3D, think in 2D^^) - but like an awful lot of these types of puzzle-games I'm sure I did actually try the right method but for some reason it never took! Finally surrender to the ever-handy walkthrough and lo and behold, the answer IS exactly what I tried....must have clicked incorrectly I guess ;p
Graphics are good, those darn dogs are annoying, sound effects are decent and your charge - the sleepwalking man - is well done and amusing. The game boils down to your weirdass character of a dog-like thing with a Human? face, picking up giant apples used to block his path and thus redirect him, with also later on giant fish used as gangplanks. That's it. Oh, and the bad dogs which you do exactly the same with - redirect with apple, use fish to trap them on an island, path is then safe.
I was honestly immediately bored with the format, but I stuck with it and completed the game in less than ninety minutes. Although I have not attempted the Nightmare additions seeing as I was in a permanent state of 'meh'. If my timer goes up after this review, then I've tried them!
A fair thumbs-up for what it is and was always meant to be - a nifty idea of guiding a sleepwalker in a weird dreamscape (but if it's a dreamscape them he should be awake - if he's asleep it should be in the real world??) with simple get-him-here puzzles. Fine for a light puzzle-game with short length. Good for the price, even better on the bundle sale I got!