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Mafia II: Definitive Edition – A Game Where Your Dreams of a Crime Empire Mostly Involve Parking Cars

Ah, Mafia II: Definitive Edition, where you start off with high hopes of becoming a feared mob boss, only to realize most of your time is spent driving around like an underpaid Uber driver for the mafia. I mean, sure, I wanted to be the next Al Capone, but instead, I’ve become the king of parallel parking.
Story: You play as Vito Scaletta, the war hero who decides that the best way to repay his family’s debts is by becoming a full-time criminal. It’s like someone gave him a "Life Choices 101" guide and he decided to just throw it in the trash. But hey, who can resist the charm of the mob? Especially when all it takes to climb the criminal ladder is running errands for the real gangsters. Whether you’re stealing cars, driving cars, or fixing… well, cars, Vito’s rise to power is just one thrilling automotive adventure after another.
Gameplay: Ever wanted to know what it’s like to be a part-time gangster and a full-time chauffeur? Well, you’re in luck. The missions involve a lot of shooting, but let’s not forget the real star of the show: car chases! In fact, the game should probably be called Mafia II: Carpool Edition. You’ll spend more time behind the wheel than behind a gun, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll spend half of that time trying not to crash into everything because driving in the '40s is apparently like navigating an ice rink.
Graphics: The Definitive Edition gives everything a shiny new coat of paint, which is great, because if I’m going to spend hours driving around, the streets of Empire Bay should at least look nice, right? The city is a beautiful and immersive time capsule of post-war America, filled with enough mob clichés to make even Scorsese blush. The problem? You don’t really get to enjoy it while you’re careening through traffic at 60 miles per hour in your newly "borrowed" car.
Characters: Vito is your typical "good guy in a bad situation," except that he’s actually not that good at being bad either. His best friend Joe is the comic relief, or as I like to call him, "The Guy Who’ll Definitely Get You in Trouble." Between the two of them, they form the most dysfunctional dynamic duo in mob history. Every crime they commit is accompanied by the deep sense that they are definitely going to mess it up. Spoiler: they often do.
The Verdict: Mafia II: Definitive Edition is a solid game for anyone who enjoys getting roped into crime, but it’s mostly about driving and occasionally shooting things. So, if your dream is to become the mob’s go-to guy for car theft and joyriding, you’re in for a treat. Just don’t expect to actually feel like a powerful mobster—unless your definition of power is based on how many cars you can steal in one afternoon.
Final Rating: 8/10, would drive Vito around again because apparently, I’m his personal valet now.