Skull Island: Rise of Kong Review (Smoke EX)
TLDR Skull Island: Rise of Kong is a nostalgic trip back to PS1-era graphics and glitches, definitely not worth the $40 price tag – play if you dare or just need a laugh.
https://www.twitch.tv/smokeex/clip/MotionlessExcitedAdminBleedPurple-nTvPzqxLM7qVVL90
Once in a while, a game comes along that challenges your very sanity and makes you question the choices you've made in life. Skull Island: Rise of Kong is such a game. And by "challenges your sanity," I don't mean in the delightful way a complex puzzle might, but in the “Why on Earth did I spend money and precious hours of my life on this?” kind of way.
The description promised an epic journey of Kong's metamorphosis from a wee ape to the undisputed King of Skull Island. Instead, what I got was a torturous trip down memory lane, reminiscent of the PS1 and PS2 graphics era. Yes, you read that right. This game was a stark reminder that nostalgia isn't always golden, especially when polygons have the audacity to call themselves "graphics."
The lore of Skull Island was supposed to be the game's saving grace. But lo and behold, even that felt as if it was pulled from a rejected bedtime story. The mysteries of the island turned out to be my constant wonderment at why trees looked like green blocks, and waterfalls appeared as if they were rendered on Microsoft Paint.
Now, let's talk about combat. The "devastating combos" were as devastating as a toddler's tantrum. Kong's "spine-tingling roar"? More like the whimper of a puppy who's had its toy taken away. And the "unique finishing attacks"? Oh, they were unique alright. Unique in their ability to inspire facepalms.
But wait! There's more. The "mysterious areas" were mysterious for a reason – no sane developer would want you to find them. And when you did, you'd likely be greeted with glitches that make you question if they were part of the game's unique charm or just plain mistakes.
Skull Island: Rise of Kong should certainly be a contender for the Worst Game of the Year award. But hey, if you're feeling particularly masochistic or need a good laugh at the sheer audacity of its existence, then by all means, dive into this abomination. Just remember to keep your expectations lower than the game's resolution.
Final verdict: If you cherish your time, your sanity, and your Twitch viewers, give this game a hard pass. Unless, of course, you're in the mood for a laugh at some good ol' fashioned terrible gameplay. In which case, game on! 1/10