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cover-Touhou Luna Nights

Thursday, June 13, 2024 12:02:12 PM

Touhou Luna Nights Review (SoupAssassin)

Wish I could leave this game a mixed review because that is what it deserves IMO. I love Touhou it's a fun world with fun, and highly meme heavy, lore and characters. But if this game didn't have the Touhou license attached to it there is no way it would have "Overwhelmingly Positive" reviews.
The game plays well moment to moment. You are constantly balancing HP, MP, and Time (which grants the ability to stop time briefly) - all of which play off of and feed into each other in interesting ways especially with the "graze" mechanic which lets you recover resources by nearing enemies and their projectiles but not actually touching them. It can be a bit annoying sometimes but for the most part it works and is the games singular unique aspect.
Otherwise you have what might be one of the WORST Metroidvanias ever. The game literally has like 50 rooms in it, half of which are save rooms or just mostly empty hallways, and the actual rooms with content are annoying. Enemies in this game are all incredibly annoying, from fairies to spirits to stone faced discs that shoot interdimensional fruit loops. Everything is just annoying (but easy) to kill and it gets old really, really fast. Also there are several rooms where you get instantly attacked if you don't remember the room and immediately pause time as you enter it. Cool, great game design guys. But honestly these parts don't matter - they are all just filler for the games actual purpose which is a series of boss battles of increasing difficulty until you get right up into the absurd.
There's just not a lot here. A really, really weak metroidvania style game in appearance that is dispersed as thin as mechanically possible to give an excuse to engage in a string of boss battles that by the end are ridiculously difficult. Sure, the graphics are pretty great, excellent actually. But the music and audio design all kind of suck, I can't remember the music the second I'm back to the Windows desktop. The story is a nonsensical soup that seems translated poorly and doesn't do any of these fun and interesting characters any reasonable level of justice.
The bottom line - are you Touhou fan? Give it a shot. Are you not a Touhou fan? There is zero reason to play this, there are waaaaaay better takes on this formula on Steam and way better ways to get into Touhou. I mean just look at all the top reviews, see how they are all just ASCII Cirnos and Touhou "in" jokes? Tells you all you need to know about this mixed bags artificially inflated review score. For such a massive franchise (at least in Japan) it's shocking how few actual proper games it has gotten, so when this came along it didn't need to be good it just needed to be Touhou and everyone forced themselves to love it. What we have here is a crushingly difficult bullet hell style boss rush pretending to be something it is not so more people will buy it, and while as a crushingly difficult bullet hell style boss rush it is decent it still feels like a poor usage of this world and to me I find that the most disappointing aspect of all.